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“Why do I have to put the dishes in the dishwasher?”
“Why do I have to take a bath?”
“Why do I have to be home at curfew?”
The list goes on and on…
If you have a child, you get it. Your child is constantly asking you “Why?” as they navigate and figure out the world around them.
Now, on the flipside, have you ever asked yourself “Why?”
“Why do I ask my kids to pick up toys before dinner?”
“Why did I buy that new car?”
“Why do I yell when my kids don’t listen?”
Have you ever thought about your “WHY?”
What if I told you it’s one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself. Would you believe me?
I was on a call with my brother this week and he asked me this question, “WHY did you decide to change your parent style?”
Hmm…Great question, right?
I had to think about it…
“I decided to change my parenting style because I didn’t want to YELL anymore.”
“It’s actually deeper than that. I wanted a healthy relationship with my children that was rooted in respect, family values, and unconditional love. And I knew in my heart I was responsible for teaching my children to regulate their emotional landscape. And yelling wasn’t working for anyone.”
Good or Bad. I had to take complete responsibility that I am raising children and in doing so, your “people making.”
“Your child will model what you do, how you parent, especially when emotions run high. These are the moments where you are teaching your child how to regulate or calm themselves while expressing their emotions.”
This also meant that my kids don’t actually DO anything to me, but rather they are just being kids. And it’s my choice on how I choose to react or be triggered and shift the situation.
I also had to take responsibility that those triggers are mine and they are stored patterns from my childhood experiences.
Wow. It’s true.
“It’s old programming that needed rewritten.”
By the end of our call I had a huge gift of gratitude for the relationship I have with my brother.
My wish for you, should you choose to accept it….
#1.) Grab your journal.
#2) Ask yourself the question. “WHY” am I committed to my work, family, relationships, and children? Write down a list of reasons WHY. It can keep you on your parenting game when things get difficult.