If you could meet your child as an adult what kind of qualities would you like to see in him/her? I love this question. It gets you thinking about your role as a parent and helps you identify what values you want to instill in your child.
1.) Model Respect.
This starts with you, the parent. Your kids may not always listen to what you say but they will model what you do.
If you want confident kids, model and teach confidence with them. And if you desire respectful kids, model respect with them and with others. If you are hoping for an emphatic child, model empathy with them and others.
2.) Know your triggers
What does that mean? Know your unconscious belief patters and programs that show up when you have unmet needs. This teaches your children to respect themselves when they have unmet needs. What shows up when you’re stressed, hungry or tired. Maybe it’s time to leave the park because everyone is exhausted, your toddler just bit another child, and you just screamed at your other 2 children for eating sand.
3.) Learn and teach how to handle Anger
Anger is an emotion that we all experience as human beings. Understanding it and working through it is a critical gift to give your children. Usually you have another feeling before you begin to feel anger. You may feel unsupported, frustrated or even sad before you become filled with anger. We see anger as an expression of an unmet need and teaching your child this is critical in developing healthy relationships with themselves and others.
4.) Set Limits that Peaceful Stick
The foundation for setting limits is based on an infrastructure that keeps a child safe and is based on deeply held family values. We see setting limits as the framework for raising respectful and confident kids.
5.) Learn and teach how to have an Empowered Conversation
An empowered conversation is a tool used to clear up a friendship, understand each other, deepen a friendship, or end a friendship, etc. This is something that can be used with our children too.
- State Intention for the conversation
- Take responsibility or your part
- State feelings/needs
- Show genuine empathy for others feelings
- Make a request
Check out my interview with Faith Joyner to hear more about the 5 Tips for Raising Respectful Confident Kids.