This week has been filled with so many teachable moments that I wasn’t sure where to start. So, I decided to share one of the highlights from our rainy Thursday afternoon.
My 6 year old daughter loves to read. She has been asking about a reading center in town where she can get extra support. She REALLY wants to read “chapter books.”
After some consideration, I decided to check it out.
We arrive at the center, she goes in for testing and everything went as planned.
Half hour later they call my son and I back to the testing area so I could speak with the instructor.
At this point, it was clear both kids wanted to play but I still had to talk with the instructor. About halfway through the conversation I turn to my left and see my son pull a chair out from underneath his sister.
She landed flat on the concrete floor and burst into tears.
OMG REALLY? I had not planned for this!
I could immediately sense my son’s sadness as he step back. I ask him to go wait in the lobby. I then helped his sister work through her emotions and tears.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
We were finally done and we all walk outside and get in the car.
I ask my son, “Why on earth did you pull her chair out?”
“I don’t know, mom. My brain just told me to do it.”
Years ago, I might have laughed at this comment, scolded and then sent him to timeout.
“No really, mom. I really wish I wouldn’t have done it. It was embarrassing and I felt bad from sister.”
He then turned and apologized to his sister and hugged her.
“Buddy, do you think your brain will ever tell you to do that again?”
“No, mom. I feel terrible.”
Did he really get it?
YES, Absolutely! Without.a.doubt
Everything kids do is based on where they are on a developmental level. Understanding the child is critical.
Following the conversation we talked about how each of them have a developing brain and it’s growing and learning. And that the decision making center of the brain may not be completely online for some kids.
Holding a safe space for my son to work through what he did was critical. Following the incident, he went home and spent some time alone on his own. I didn’t need to punish or use consequences. It became clear to him that his choice was not one that aligned with our family and our values. I can almost guarantee this will never happen. Truly a breakthrough moment for all of us.
Want to learn more about parenting with less struggle and more peace? Email us at Christina@theparentingshift.com with the word YES! and we’ll be in touch.